Harry Potter Performs Wicked!
by truemizzie
Summary: What on earth would happen if Hogwarts decided to put on the musical Wicked? Chaos of course! This story is now finally complete! Rated PG just to be safe!
1. The First Day

There it was, right in front of all of them, a notice. Harry, Hermione and Ron looked at it in disbelief – and this is what they were reading:

-

**Hogwarts will be putting on its first ever musical – Wicked!**

**Extra marks will be given out to all students who audition!**

**Scripts will be given out in your first classes!**

**Good luck!**

-

How could this be happening? Who knew? Still, how were they to give up a few extra marks? All they had to do was audition for the show! It couldn't be that hard! So, all three decided that they would try out, and see what would happen. The question was: who to audition for?

"Any ideas Herm?" asked Ron as they walked into the common room.

"Oh, gee Ron. I have no idea! I've read the book that the musical is based on, but cast recordings don't play here at Hogwarts – as you both know because of the great book, 'Hogwarts: A History.' Oh, but of course, you haven't read that book yet have you? Honestly!"

"How come every single conversation we have always ends up in you lecturing people about not reading that stinking thing!" the writer complained to her. "I mean, sure, this is a fan fiction story, but does 'Hogwarts: A History' have to be in every single one!

"Well, excuse me for being too cultured for your tastes!"

"Hermione, just tell us who you want to try out for!" Ron said to her, extremely annoyed

"Well, I have heard a few songs from the show, because I hang out with little fourteen year-old fan girls like our author and that's all they ever do-"

"Hey!" the authoress yelled down at Hermione, shocked that she was being mentioned as a 'fan girl!' So what if she actually was…

" -So from what I know, I think I'll try out for Nessarose…or, if I'm feeling particularly lucky, Elphaba."

"Eilfa-whata?" Harry turned to Hermione, thoroughly confused…he knew absolutely nothing about the musical, only that it was about the Wicked Witch of the West…before she ate the cheesecake…or something like that…

"Well, it's the witch's real name. It's based on the initial LFB, which are the initials of the brilliant writer of "The Wizard of…"

Harry stared at her, complete blankness in his mind. Well…there were some thoughts of cheesecake in there, but we'll get into _that_ later...

"Oh, never mind. Who are you trying out for Ron?"

"Well….probably Boq….or Fiyero would be fun. I like straw.

"Wait! How do you know about this thing Ron?" Harry asked, still completely confused.

Ron replied, "Well, my dad likes musicals, and he gets cast recordings through the Ministry. It's all for his research."

"And you actually listen to all of them?"

"Are you kidding! Of course I do! Especially Les Misérables….gotta love Les Misérables…."

"Well, who doesn't love Les Mis! Have you read the book?" Hermione asked cheerfully.

"Have I! Of course! Victor Hugo is a genius!" Ron yelled happily, and he and Hermione got into a huge discussion about whether or not Javert is evil, or just misunderstood…they decided on evil, because of something about guns and battles…or, at least, that's what Harry told me, I was still too angry about being called a fan girl to pay attention. Finally, Hermione spoke.

"Oh, so, you can read all of Les Mis, but not a page of Hogwarts: A His-"

"Stop it!" the writer shrieked, completely annoyed. "This is a Wicked/Harry Potter fan fiction, not a Les Misérables/Hogwarts: A History fan fiction!"

"But I love-"

"I don't care!"

"But-"

"Shut up!"

"Please, just-"

"Shut up!"

"If you'll-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

"Ok."

"Thank you."

Anyway, the trio decided that it was time to go to sleep. So they did. And they had dreams of sugar plum fairies and flying witches and loud, belting voices all throughout the night. All of this was in time for the next chapter….the auditions. A place where all they wanted to do was be _Popular_, _Defy Gravity_, _March_ like _Witch Hunters_, and say _Thank Goodness_ when it was all finished! Then they would feel _Wonderful_, Not _Mourn the Wicked_, sing about their _Dear Old_ Hogwarts, and live in the _Emerald City_! Oh, and Harry was trying to learn how to spell 'Les Misérables,' which is an adventure in itself!


	2. The Audition Room

The Audition Room

About a week after the trio's little – er – conversation, they find themselves standing in a line outside of the potions classroom, waiting for their turn to audition. The potions room was chosen because it had the best acoustics – there were no openings to let the sound escape….none at all….not even one….who knows how air got in there….but hey, the less outside interruption, the better the sound!

First to go in from the trio was Hermione. Ron and Harry waited outside for her….not hearing a thing. She came out crying, "They said I sound like….like…."

"Like what Hermione?" Ron asked.

"Like a SHENSHEN!"

Everyone in the line gasped at this – ShenShen was Galinda's minion….a – oh the horror – completely girly and material character! Everyone patted her on the back and told her how sorry they were. How they knew who ShenShen was I'll never know. Magic of musicals I guess!

Hermione snorted in her pain and wished Ron good luck. It was his turn to go in. He gulped and tip-toed into the room.

Ron ran out jumping and screaming with a little gold piece of paper.

"I got through! I got to the next round! New York here I come! Yay! Who knew they were holding auditions for American Idol right here! Woohoo!"

"Um….excuse me….Mr. Weasley?" came a voice. It was Dumbledore.

"Yes Sir?" Ron turned to him.

"You went through the porthole….to Florida…."

"What? So I don't get to go to New York?"

"No – but you get a prize for trying!"

"Oooooh! What!"

"You get to audition for the school show!"

"Yay!"

Ron ran into the potions room, and ran out yelling, "I think I did really well! They said my lion roar was fantastic!"

"Lion roar?" Hermione looked at him curiously.

"Yeah, I tried out for the lion! I'm so excited!"

"Riii-iiight…."

They both wished Harry good luck on his audition….he was about to walk in when Hermione asked, "Harry….what song are you singing?"

"What The World Needs Now!"

"Good choice!"

Harry ran in. Suddenly Ron and Hermione heard a cat somewhere….squealing….and dying….very painfully….they turned around and looked for Filch's evil cat. He wasn't there. Ron pressed his ear to the door and looked at Hermione, horrified.

"That's Harry!"

Hermione's eyes opened wider than the thickness of the fifth Harry Potter book. She put her ear to the door and nearly cried. Not because she felt sorry for Harry, but because the noise hurt her ears so. Suddenly, Harry flew through the doorway, having been pushed away by Dumbledore himself, and ran straight into Hermione! He got up and said to them:

"Oh! I think that went so well! I wonder what part I'll get!"

Hermione and Ron simply looked at each other and sighed. They waited outside the door for some of their other friends to come out, such as Neville, Ginny, Seamus and Luna. When they came out they all talked about their auditions….good and bad.

"So, Seamus, how do you think you did?" asked Harry, looking at him.

"Not too bad I don't think…."

"Well, let's hear it!"

"Oh, I don't know…."

"Come on!" everyone yelled at him, somehow in perfect unison.

"Oh fine!" Seamus yelled back. He started singing his song – Dancing Through Life. Everyone stared at him when he was finished.

"Wow….Seamus….good job." Ginny looked at him with lovey dovey eyes. She looked at Harry and said, "I think you've got some competition!"

Harry looked rather jealous about this….he looked at Ron and frowned. Ron simply shrugged. Luna then looked at Harry:

"Oh, come on! You don't need her! Take me!"

Ron looked at her quickly, "I thought you liked me?"

"No, I _liked _Neville….now I _love _Harry!"

Neville blushed as Ron looked angrily. All of the Harry/Luna shippers suddenly ran in and hugged Luna:

"We knew you would pick him! Go Luna!"

Then, without warning, all of the Ron/Luna shippers ran in:

"How could you do this to us! Boooo!"

Next, the Neville/Luna shippers ran in:

"Meh. It was good while it lasted," and they left.

After a huge war between the Harry/Luna shippers and the Ron/Luna shippers, they all went back to their meaningless little lives of writing lots and lots of fan fictions about how Luna is secretly seeing Ron.

"Wow….that was odd," Ginny said suddenly.

"Well now, you've been pretty quiet all this time….unlike you," Ron said to her, "How was your audition by the way?"

"Not too bad, I hope! Hey, Neville, how do think you did?"

"Er….um….I dunno….gee….hm…."

"Never mind then."

"Well, I don't know about all of you guys, but I'm going to bed….before any of you come up with another clever idea to blow our ears out – or worse – be ex-"

"Just go to bed!" the author yelled at her, "And no more movie references or I'll fire you!"

"You can't fire me, I quit!"

"Shut up!"

"Oh yeah, well-"

"Shut up!"

"What if-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

"Fine!"

So they all went to bed, awaiting the next morning when they would find out their roles!


	3. The List of Roles

The next morning, all seven kids – some now newly paired (insert random shippers yells of joy and pain here) - went to the bulletin board in the common room and saw the list that would determine their year. Well….sort of….

Before they saw the list they asked each other how they each were doing….good or bad.

"Hey, Hermione, how are you doing?" Ginny asked her.

"Well, I've made peace with it all. As a matter of fact, I don't think playing ShenShen would be all that bad….in fact, I think it would be great fun! Oh, I really hope I get on….be the lion…."

"Good luck with that Ron! Oh, I bet I'll be the male lead, my audition was SO GOOD!"

"Er….uh….meh….I dunno….ergh….bla….I….eeee….er….uh…."

"Ok Neville! We get it! Honestly!"

Elphaba: Ginny Weasley

Galinda: Luna Lovegood

Fiyero: Neville Longbottom

Boq: Seamus Finnagin

Wizard: Draco Malfoy

Nessarose: Lavender Brown

Madame Morrible: Parvati Patil

ShenShen: Milicent Bulstrode

Pfannee: Hermione Granger

Dr. Dillamond: Ronald Weasley

Lion: Harry Potter

"**WHAT?"** everyone screamed in unison.

"How could I not get ShenShen! I was made for that role!"

"I can't wear all that green stuff on my face! It'll kill my skin! And ruin all my chances with Seamus!"

"I'm….a goat….lions eat goats….they don't be goats….HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME HARRY?"

"ROAR! What….I have to practice…."

"Do I have to wear those horrible fish outfits? Well, they're not fish….but it says in the book they are fish-like!"

"Am I that short?"

"Neville? That's my name right? Neville? Longbottom? Is that me?"

"Ok, I'm seriously gonna be OOC right here….but I have to kiss Longbottom! And be a girly girl! Like, ewwwww! Totally, like, ewwwww! Now I'm going to be in character: well, that is an interesting choice of casting. Oh, hello Neville. You know, we kiss in the script. How bright and happy…."

Suddenly, chaos broke out.

Harry was left with a black eye. "Do you think the lion skin'll cover it up? Is he a lead?"

Hermione tried to get into the Slytherin common room. "Hey, Milicent….wanna switch?"

Ginny washed her face about 400 times. "Make-up shows up better on clear skin….I love you Oxy…."

Luna started reading the Quibbler – RIGHT SIDE UP! "I can't figure out how to pronounce this word…."

Seamus started wearing high heels. "I'm not a munchkin….not a munchkin….stay tall…."

Ron started making dying goat noises. "Brrroaaaammmmnnnnn. What on earth does a goat sound like?"

And Neville just sort of stood there. " silence silence "

What was the world coming to? Well, it doesn't matter, because suddenly, the ghost of Sirius Black came in, did a spell, and turned everyone back to normal. Except Neville. He never changed. Then, right before Harry was able to have his long written about reunion with his Godfather insert fan fiction writers sounds of glee here, he disappeared into a mere puff of smoke, leaving Harry in a terrible, angsty fan fiction tale.

But oh well, this is not an angst fan fiction – it's a fun one – so no one cried. They just went back to sleep and waited for their first rehearsal.

"What was that?" Hermione asked when she had finished blowing her nose into the huge Kleenex she happened to have. "Oh, and hey, Miss Author lady, do you have a trash can?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Shut up."

"Pretty please?"

"Shut up!"

"Oh come on!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

By the way, to all you shippers out there, I will now write the unofficial pairings of this story! They will never actually be a part of the story….but they are fun!

Harry/Luna

Ron/Hermione

Seamus/Ginny

Neville. Just Neville. But he gets to kiss Ginny and Luna in the show! So say "Woohoo!" all you shippers out there! Woohoo!

**Note:** Should I continue writing this fan fiction tale? Please Read and Review it for me so I know! Also, if you have any suggestions for it, please tell me….I'll give the best reviewer a miniature part in the story – so give a good review and be part of this comedic tale! Thanks for reading this far also, and no flames please! Constructive criticism is perfectly fine, but NO FLAMES! I beg that of you all. Thanks!


	4. The First Rehearsal

The First Rehearsal.

Cast 

Elphaba: Ginny Weasley

Galinda: Luna Lovegood

Fiyero: Neville Longbottom

Boq: Seamus Finnagin

Wizard: Draco Malfoy

Nessarose: Lavender Brown

Madame Morrible: Parvati Patil

ShenShen: Milicent Bulstrode

Pfannee: Hermione Granger

Dr. Dillamond: Ronald Weasley

Lion: Harry Potter

All of the leads walked into the Great Hall for their first rehearsal. The chorus members didn't have to come this time, because they were only working on solos and duets. The director of the show, Albus Dumbledore, told them all to take a seat at a long table right at the front which faced the stage. The stage hadn't been there before, it was magic-ed there by Professor Flitwick and took the place of the Head Table. It could be removed at any time for eating.

Dumbledore went up onto the stage and spoke to them all.

"Hello students, and welcome to the place you will be spending a lot of your time in from now on. Before we start, I'm going to tell you about the show."

He gave a very long synopsis!

"So, does everyone have a good grasp on what the show is about now?"

"Um….sure," replied the half asleep students.

"Well then, let's get started. I understand that you've all been given time to learn your songs?" the students all nodded. "Excellent! Well, now is the time to show off your skills! I'd like to start with a bit of character work though, so you all know who you are! Ginny and Luna, please come up onto the stage."

The two girls did as they were told. Dumbledore told them about their characters, and their meanings, then they were allowed to go back to their seats….their blessed, non-embarrassing seats!

Dumbledore did the same with all the main characters, then called up Milicent, Hermione, and Harry.

"Ok, girls, please show me your stuff!"

"Um….excuse me Dumbledore?" Hermione put up her hand.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Um….Milicent and I have decided to….uh….switch characters."

"I did not agree to that you foul, filthy little-"

"Now, now! None of that in here!" Dumbledore said to Milicent. "Hermione, you'll just have to live with the character you are given!"

"But - oh please Headmaster?"

"The casting is final!" said Dumbledore, and Hermione stopped pleading….sort of.

"Now, I want you both to say your lines in Dancing Through Life, and pretend that I am Galinda!"

The two girls did as they were told and left the stage.

"Now, Harry. Give me your best Lion roar!"

Harry roared as if he were Simba from the Lion King! Or, at least….young Simba from the Lion king….

Ron glared at him out of spite, and his eye started twitching.

"Again Harry! Louder!" yelled Dumbledore.

Harry roared a bit louder this time – Ron's eye kept twitching.

"King of the Jungle Harry!"

"Grrrr?"

Suddenly, Ron stood up, ran to the stage, and let out the loudest, most menacing roar any of them had ever heard! It echoed through the entire Hall! Plates crashed to the ground, utensils shivered and suddenly became so magnetic they stuck together, the heavens opened and a beam of light came down upon Ron, declaring him the mystical king of the jungle. His roar was like thunder: it contained life, beauty, mystery, and most of all – love! It was a wonderful noise, and a mystical sight! When it all ended, all of the students clapped and cheered, and Ron said to Dumbledore:

"So, can I have the role?"

Dumbledore took a tissue from his pocket and said, "Ron, that was wonderful….but no."

"What? Please Headmaster!"

"No."

"Please!"

"Nope."

"I'll give you candy?"

"Nope-er-roo!"

"Noooo!"

Dumbledore shrugged and told Harry to go again

Ron stared into the Hall, looking horrified, and stumbled back into his seat. Harry roared again, and again, and again, until the roar was perfect, when suddenly Ryan Seacrest appeared and gave Ron a golden ticket: "Simon, Paula, and Randy heart you Ronald Weasley! Come back to the States any time!" it read.

Ryan looked at the camera that had come with him and said, "Seacrest, out!" he vanished!

"Well now, that was odd," Dumbledore said to himself. "Well, that doesn't matter, because it's time to practice Dancing Through Life! Come up here Neville and everyone else and do what you were born to do!"

They all did the song together, all very well. Somehow, like in all fan fictions about performing musicals, everyone knew all their lines and the entire blocking and dance moves before anything started. Magic of musicals! That's all I can say. Yes, everyone did a great job – except for Neville. Everyone was expecting him to be fantastic, but he wasn't. He was average. Well, in real life he was average. Through the magic of fan fiction he wasn't terrible, but not good enough to be Fiyero!

Still, everyone else did the song perfectly, and they all left to go back into their common rooms. As Hermione was leaving though, she saw Neville give Dumbledore an envelope that seemed to have tiny round disks in it….who knew why? No one. It was a plot twist!

"Oh honestly? Plot twist? What a stupid idea! Everyone knows that he's bribing Dumbledore with-"

"Oh, shut up little girl!"

"Seriously? Who's that stu-"

"Shut up!"

"Please, two words abou-"

"Shut up!"

"Just one the-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

"ALRIGHT! Geez! I'm getting so tired of this….every single chapter…."

She continued to complain about the story as she went back into her common room, and dreamt of being ShenShen….

So, how did y'all like that chapter? I certainly hope you did! Read and Review pretty please! Also, is the shut up thing getting a bit old? Please tell me if it is, and I'll end your agony!


	5. The Next Day

The very next day, Hermione saw Neville sitting in a comfy chair in the common room. She remembered what she had seen the night before, and went over to ask him about it. As she got closer, she saw that he was doing his banking. She had to strike up a conversation with him!

"I do?" Hermione looked to the speaker where the author's voice was coming from. "Hey wait….there's no electricity allowed in Hogwarts! You have to leave! Yay! Hogwarts: A History-"

"Remember what happened the last time you started talking about Hogwarts: A History child?"

"Oh. Right. So….you're not leaving?"

"Not a chance."

"Oh, fine!"

So, Hermione reluctantly went over to talk to Neville.

"Hey there Neville!" she said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Oh….um….hi Hermione."

"How are you on this….fine day?"

"Um….er….not too bad I suppose. You?"

"Not too shabby! Not too shabby at all! So, what have you got there?"

"Oh, nothing….just some stuff I have to look after. My Granny's trying to teach me how to do my own banking so I don't have to live with her forever." He said slowly, as if he was making it up on the spot.

"Oh….how….interesting. I would love to hear all about it Neville!"

Without warning, all of the Hermione/Neville shippers ran in screaming:

"Is she insinuating something? YAY! We knew you two would fall in love! Even though we know you secretly were….hehe…."

Then, all of the Neville/Marie-Sue shippers ran in and yelled:

"No! Neville! You don't love her! You love Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling….she's JK's secret half younger sister whom no one – not even JK knows about. Her hair is half ravenous coal and half vela-esque buttery blonde….she has one ocean-blue eye and one ocean-green eye, both with hints of violet in them….her lips are ruby red, and they match her constantly blushing cheeks….she has a long, slim nose that is the exact color of her pale, snow white skin…. Heck! Snow White is her mother! Also….she loves wearing red and purple, the colors of her lio personalit-"

"Hey! Get out of my fan fiction! Neville and Hermione are not in love! She's just trying to be nice, not creepy, swim fan-ish! And no, Neville has no intention of meeting Elizerabla Rowina Circle Cryssyness Rowling-"

"Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling," the shippers interrupted the author.

"I don't care! Now get out of my fan fiction!"

They all left crying, the beautiful/perfect/lovely/caring/charming/feminine/amazing/phenomenal Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling following behind them.

"Great! Now they wasted our chapter!" Hermione yelled. "And I was just about to get to play the cool detective role too!"

"Oh! So now you care! Fine! Then have fun! You be the hero!"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Neville left."

"He what!

"He's over there, following around Little Miss Perfect."

"But wait….aren't you Little Miss Perfect?" the author asked.

"Hey! That was SO mean!" Hermione yelled back.

"Ooops! I'm sorry! Can you please go get him-"

"Shut up!"

"Oh, come on-"

"Shut up!"

"Pretty please? Oh-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Sh-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Aw! It was my turn to win!"

"Haha!"

The author left to look for Neville as Hermione stayed where she was, pouting. She had almost won….almost. Oh well, that doesn't matter, because we'll just have Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling come and sing for you all with her velvety, fantastic, operatic, poppy, jazzy, perfect voice!

"THE sun'll come out! Tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow! There'll be sun! Just think – hey! Where did everybody go?"

Well….that concludes this chapter!

Read and Review!


	6. The Second Evil Rehearsal

**The Second Rehearsal!**

Well, there they all were again, at their second rehearsal. And, for those who forgot:

Cast

Elphaba: Ginny Weasley

Galinda: Luna Lovegood

Fiyero: Neville Longbottom

Boq: Seamus Finnagin

Wizard: Draco Malfoy

Nessarose: Lavender Brown

Madame Morrible: Parvati Patil

ShenShen: Milicent Bulstrode

Pfannee: Hermione Granger

Dr. Dillamond: Ronald Weasley

Lion: Harry Potter

Everyone went onto the stage, and waited for Dumbledore, as he wasn't there yet. They waited a few minutes, silently, then madness broke out. Nobody knows exactly how it all started, but it is said that Hermione said a fairly rude thing to Milicent, out of extreme jealousy. Well, here's what happened:

Milicent jumped over to Hermione and slapped her hard across the face, leaving a very ugly mark there. Then, suddenly, Neville runs over and defends Hermione by attempting to beat Milicent off of her. Using his pinky. His very weak pinky. Still, it was the delight of all the Neville/Hermione shippers out there.

Then, Ron, in the heat of the moment, runs over to Harry and starts beating him senseless, then Seamus comes and starts to beat up Draco, then Luna comes and kisses Seamus, then Ginny comes and pulls her off, then everyone is just watching the Cat fight between Luna and Ginny for Seamus, then -

"What on Earth is going on in here!"

Dumbledore came in. He used a spell to break everyone apart, then a bunch of guys dressed in Black came, and all everyone remembered was a bright flash of light. Nothing else. How very odd.

Anyway, back to the rehearsal. Dumbledore decided that they should practice Popular. Ah yes, that special song. He also decided that the two girls should be in costume. And make-up…

"No! Dumbledore! You can't make me put that stuff on my face! I-won't-let-YOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Whilst being held down violently by everyone in the main cast, green…er…stuff… was put onto Ginny's pale, formerly beautiful face. Then it was time to practice…or at least they wished it was.

"Hey! What about all of us! We're not going to just sit here and watch them!" Draco yelled rather loudly at Dumbledore.

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to," Dumbledore replied calmly.

"Well, I won't!"

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Awwww, come on!"

"No!"

"DO IT NOW!"

Everyone in the room stared at Dumbledore in utter shock. He had never yelled at a student like that before. Then those weird people in Black came again…what on Earth happened here…

Meh. Back to the story! Hermione and Milicent were called up, because Dumbledore had made the decision to have ShenShen and Pfannee make over Elphaba whilst Galinda sang. Isn't that a great idea?

So, they all got through the song. Perfectly, of course, as that is the way things happen here in the magical land of fan fiction. And they all lived happily ever after. And bluebirds sang, and they flew over the rainbow. Where over the rainbow? How should I know! Somewhere!

But then our friends in Black came again…what's a rainbow?

They all performed "What Is This Feeling," because Dumbledore thought it would be a good idea to do all of the Galinda/Elphaba songs while Ginny was still in her make-up.

Then Dumbledore told them something they all had dreaded could come. Dumbledore didn't want to have wigs or too much make-up in the show - it was simply too hard to put it on for each and every performance - so they would all get a - a - a - make-over! The dreadful thought of it brought them all to tears - not a make-over! It was dreadful! Especially for Ginny. Dumbledore decided that she would be made green. Of course, it would wash off in 40 - 60 face washes. So would the Black hair color they would put in. But the extensions wouldn't come out for a while, unfortunately.

Now for a question - when would these beautifications random note - according to spell check, this is a REAL word! take place? The next day. Muhahaha.

"No, please don't make me look like a goat Dumbledore! Now, a lion would nice though…"

"If you shrink me, I swear I'll…"

"NO! NOT GREEN! MOMMY!"

"Well, must my hair be any blonder? And curly…oh well…I'll just be nice and cool and calm…ah…"

"If you make me look even ONE year older…and NO fish outfits!"

"I always wanted a mane…"

"So…what exactly does Fiyero look like? Do I NEED the blue diamonds all over…I hope not…hey…I CAN SPELL!"

"HUH?" everyone said.

"Um…er…eeee…la…"

"Never mind."

"O…k…eeee…"

"That's it! I'll admit it! I do want to be ShenShen! I know I kept it a secret for a while, but I'm not going to beat around the bush about it anymore! MMM'KAY?"

"What the heck is mmm'kay?" Draco asked…I think you can guess who…and if you can't, read the story again. Now.

"Geez, no historic book talk, no modern day 3l1t3 talk! Can I even talk! Yowzaz!"

"What the heck is 3l1t3?"

"Elite."

Suddenly, the author of this story came into the room.

"Everyone leave now!"

"WHY?" everyone replied.

"Because I said so."

"Ok," they all said as they left.

"No!" Hermione yelled.

"Oh, just go you annoying little thing."

"No!"

"Oh, shut up!"

"No!"

"Shut up!"

"NO!"

"I said, shut up!"

"Wait, I can talk, I'm my own person…homey…and you know what-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Hermione gave in and went back to her common room. After our buddies in Black came again! Yay!

And that's how this chapter ends. I'll see you all tomorrow on make over day!

Author's Note.

Yo.


	7. Make Over Day!

♪ was the next day - Saturday! And we all know what that means - make-over day! What is make-over day, you ask? It is the day when everyone is turned into their roles so they can't back out of the show!

Now, you might wonder why they are doing this after only two rehearsals? Well, if you listened closely, you would know why. It's so no one can back out of the show! Duh!

The final question is: well, not the final question…but one of the questions… where would it all take place?

The answer? At Queen of Zan's Magic Salon, of course! Queen of Zan is the greatest beautician in all of the magical world, and can make anyone look like anything!

So, all of the students got onto the bus, and once again, here is who they are going to be made to look like:

Cast

Elphaba: Ginny Weasley

Galinda: Luna Lovegood

Fiyero: Neville Longbottom

Boq: Seamus Finnagin

Wizard: Draco Malfoy

Nessarose: Lavender Brown

Madame Morrible: Parvati Patil

ShenShen: Milicent Bulstrode

Pfannee: Hermione Granger

Dr. Dillamond: Ronald Weasley

Lion: Harry Potter

So, they all got onto the special bus Dumbledore had prepared for them. Everyone was dead quiet - except for Ginny. Ok, let me say all of this again:

Ginny was screaming and kicking and trying to kill the bus driver and/or get off the evil bus whilst everyone else was trying desperately to hold her down, away from the window and the bus driver, who happened to be Picklegrl. because she also had a very nice review! But they all did it very quietly. Mostly because Picklegrl threatened them with a friend who will for now go unnamed. A friend with a particular liking to Les Misérables.

☺

Well, they got there, only to be met by Queen of Zan.

"Velcome to my home of beauty!" she said, in a surprising French accent. "I hope you enjoy your stay as you become vitches and munchkins, and lions, and vinkus!"

"And Goats," Ron reminded her.

"Oh, sure," she said, sounding very bored. "Goats…vow exciting."

Ron sulked.

"Anyvay!" Queen said, excited, "I 'ave to start with vone of you! Who vill it be first!"

Absolutely none of the kids put up their hand.

"Ok, vell, I'll start with ze Goat then, seeing as I like to save ze best for last!"

Ron sulked some more.

Now, for the sake of the story, and my sanity, I will write Queen of Zan's lines in regular typing, because I'm tired of the little red lines under all of my miss-spelled words. Just read it in a French accent!

She grabbed Ron and threw him into a large chair. Poof! Poof! Poof! Poof! Everything was going poof! as she made Ron into Dr. Dillamond! The entire process only took five minutes, but those five minutes were the worst of Ron's life.

Then he got out of the chair.

"Haha! Muggle lover Weasley is a Goat!" Draco called out, and everyone laughed. Not at the muggle joke, but at Ron's new…er…can you call it a face?

"Next!" Queen called.

She made over all of the students…with a lot of pain…and she thought that they were handling it badly. Especially Hermione - she attempted to switch places with Milicent by hiding her in a closet. Needless to say, it didn't work. Then she got to Ginny…and that was worse…

"NO! I WON'T LET YOU!"

"Oh, come on! I'll just do your hair first ok?"

"NO!"

"Too bad!"

Everyone had to hold her down again! Finally they got to her face make-up.

"Oh, please!" Queen yelled. "It'll come off in 40-60 washes…"

"Oh. What does that mean?"

"It means that it should last…uh oh. Never mind…guys, hold her down…well, " she said, and walked to the dresser. She pulled out a large bottle of green substance.

"WHAT IS THAT!" Ginny gasped.

"Just close your eyes…"

There was a lot of screaming after that, and a lot of violence, all of which I cannot write because that would raise the rating of this story…a lot…

But, after everything, they all got on the bus. Ginny was green. Permanently, or at least until they dyed her face back to it's normal color. Why, you ask? Queen of Zan knew that 40-60 washes would not last long enough with Ginny, so she used the permanent stuff. Or, in other words, the evil stuff.

Still, they got back to Hogwarts, only to find that the entire school was there, waiting to see them! Only…they had cameras…video cameras with a bunch of people filming. Who were these people?

They were LunaClone and devil's poodle, representing the Magic Evening News, and they were ready to take the story to the Daily Prophet!

"Hey, can I just have one Hogwarts: A History moment? Please!"

"No."

"Oh, just a few words - they can't have cameras!"

"Yes they can."

"No…they-"

"Oh, shut up you little ShenShen Wannabe!"

"What!" Hermione started to cry.

"Shut up!"

"Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

"Shut up - please!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

And Hermione ran away, completely in tears, her newly died blonde hair behind her. All of the student ran to their common rooms so no one would see their new - looks? Fashions? What ever they were, nobody saw them because our buddies headed for the hills. Then the men in black came again, and none of the camera people or laughing students remembered a thing. Until the next day of course, when they would see the actors once again…see you tomorrow!♪


	8. Back At Class

School the next day was non-existant. It was Sunday! Duh! Do you think I'd actually make a bunch of kids go to school on a Sunday? I mean, seriously, it might happen in other fan fictions, but not this one! I know the days of the week thank you! Besides Sunday is the Sabbath day, so a lot of these kids might get really depressed…and lonely…and unhappy…wait...

So, school the next day was very hard for our lovely cast of characters! Some of them looked alright - such as Milicent, Hermione, and Luna with their new hairstyles. Lavender still looked pretty in a wheelchair, they cursed her so she truly couldn't walk without the shoes! and Neville was…well…ok I'll admit it. Neville looked like a sexy beast, with his new hairstyle, new workout, new everything. Except for personality - that was still lacking something…namely words.

But then there were the other. The Griffindors supported Harry's lion-isms, because they decided he could be the new mascot for the Griffindor Quidditch team! So, that was alright. Ron looked Ba-aaaaad. Sorry. Bad. hehe Everyone, except for his fellow Griffindors and some kindly Hufflepuffs made fun of him religiously. Poor fellow.

But hey, he wasn't the only one who looked terrible! Draco actually looked like a creepy old man, which worked perfectly for the character he was playing! Heck, I'll bet someday he'll be a lot like the Wizard in Wicked! But that day, my friends, is not today, so he just looked bad.

And poor Parvati! Not only did Trelawney predict that she would have an increasing lack of self confidence for the next year, everyone knew why! But hey, at least she didn't have to wear those ugly fish costumes right? Right!

And then there was Seamus. He was just…short.

Still, as always, no matter what happened to them that day, chaos ensued! Here's the run down:

Harry ate all of the meat in the Great Hall on everyone - so much for Antelope Surprise Sunday!

The spell for Ron's looks backfired, so he kept replacing each word with an A with a Baaaa!

Luna became the it girl - or at least to Crabbe and Goyle, who followed her around all day hoping to get to see her flip her newly wonderful blonde locks once again!

All the girls followed Neville, with very false hopes that his personality would match his looks.

Seamus got trampled. Multiple times.

Draco was just old. And he even started to lose his memory a teeny tiny bit.

Lavender kept falling down stairs!

Parvati took after Draco.

Milicent and Hermione become blonde buddies!


	9. The Third Rehearsal

Cast

Elphaba: Ginny Weasley

Galinda: Luna Lovegood

Fiyero: Neville Longbottom

Boq: Seamus Finnagin

Wizard: Draco Malfoy

Nessarose: Lavender Brown

Madame Morrible: Parvati Patil

ShenShen: Milicent Bulstrode

Pfannee: Hermione Granger

Dr. Dillamond: Ronald Weasley

Lion: Harry Potter

Once again, it was time for a rehearsal. It would be their first rehearsal in costumes. You may be wondering how it is that on only their third rehearsal they can already get costumes. Well…it works in other musical fictions, so why not mine!

Anyway, they all came in costume to the Great Hall and sat at the legendary table by the stage. Dumbledore got up on the stage and began to talk to them.

"So, how does everyone like their new look?" he asked. The students groaned and groaned, until one was brave enough to say:

"NO!"

Oh the horror! This student had said something other than what Dumbledore wanted him to say! All the other students gasped! He was struck down by a lightning bolt and had to leave for the Hospital Wing. Oh well. And who was this brave student? Draco. But nobody really cared. As a matter of fact, they were quite happy that he was gone, so they could rehearse in peace.

"Anyway…" Dumbledore said after the orange apple pie fairies took Draco off to the Hospital Wing, "…today I want to rehearse the solo and duet songs. These will include today: For Good, Wonderful, The Wizard and I, Popular, I'm Not That Girl and the reprise, Something Bad, Wicked Witch of The East, and As Long As You're Mine!"

At the mention of the last song Neville and Ginny stared at each other, completely horrified. They would have to - KISS!

"Wait! Dumbledore! Thou musn't force us to touch lips!" Ginny squealed to him with a Shakespearean accent.

"Alas, dear child, thou lips will be unstained from this one small ingredient of affection!" Dumbledore replied with the same odd accent.

"Still, thou must realize-" Neville started.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL TALKING LIKE THAT? " the writer of this fan fiction interrupted from her little Castle on A Cloud.

"Ooops, sorry," they all said in unison.

"You'd better be."

Anyhow, they went through all of the songs. Perfectly. What can I say - they're wizards and witches! They can do anything. Plus, this is a fan fiction, and in fan fiction the impossible become the possible. Or just stupid. One of the two.

Still…'Wonderful' was rather hard without Draco…and Lavender had a bit of trouble staying standing up for her song the shoes hadn't come in yet, but otherwise it went well. Until - THE SONG!

Ginny and Neville went to their places on the beautiful stage. As a matter of fact, they took the stage right from the Broadway production, but through the magic of fan fiction, none of the muggles noticed! Or the muggles are just stupid. Probably the latter. Anyway, they got through the song. They did not kiss at the end.

"KISS! Why aren't you two kissing?" Dumbledore said to them.

"Um…er…why…I…" Neville tried to start a sentence.

"What Neville means to say is that we just don't want to!" Ginny yelled. Neville looked at her. He spoke and grunted a few random words. No one else in the room understood him…but Ginny seemed to…

"Yes, of course I can understand you Neville-"

Everyone stared at her.

"You can understand what I'm saying?" Neville asked again, in the strange language.

"Yes…"

"Oh wow…" Neville said…

They looked at each other strangely, then their faces became closer and closer - and they kissed! The shippers went completely INSANE! They threw flowers, hugged, cheered, and too much more to even try to type! This made Ginny and Neville kiss even more…then more…until this story was just bordering the new rating of PG-13…it was so close…

Then they left. Why? They just saw Frodo with Salor Moon. Excuse me while I shudder. Shudders

Well, that was it. The rehearsal ended, and they all went to live their lives some more. Hermione stayed behind though…just to see Neville…

She saw exactly what she wanted to. Neville took an envelope from his pocket and handed it to Dumbledore. He left, and Hermione tried to follow him. She did, until a hand came and pulled her back.

"What are you doing?"

It was the writer. In the flesh! Nobody had ever seen her face before now. Hermione shuddered and simply ran away at the horrible sight of the writer's face. Why? It had a…a…PIMPLE!

The writer covered up the zit and flew on her broom back up to her Corner of The Sky screaming:

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

Author's Note Sorry I left the story for so long. I didn't mean to! I promise to update more from now on, and I won't forget about this story! I PROMISE! Also…sorry for all the musical references throughout the story. None of the musicals belong to me. That is my disclaimer. Please don't sue me!

Oh yeah…and…read and review please.


	10. The Night After

The Night After The Third Rehearsal!

That night, everyone went back to their common rooms, away from rehearsals, emotional scarring, and pimples. Everyone went to these safe homes…except for Ginny and Neville…

Ginny and Neville found each other at the Library, then left. They went to a very empty classroom, and began to speak to each other in the cheesy way that only fan fictions can house.

"Ginny, I don't know what happened today. It's just that…I hardly ever speak real English! This entire year, the only times I've used words are during rehearsals, and other random times," Neville said to her in his grunts. "But those other times weren't so random. I've only ever been able to speak when I'm thinking about you!"

"Oh Neville!" Ginny squealed. "That is so sweet! After all these years of me being in love with you, you finally feel the same way!"

"I've always felt this way! I just didn't know if you ever really understood me!"

"Oh Neville! I wish you would have told me! I wish you knew that you could tell me anything!"

"Really?"

"Yes, Neville!"

"Well then…there's something I have to tell you…"

"Oh my! What is it?"

"Well…" Neville began. "You know how I'm playing Fiyero?"

"Duh!"

"Well…I didn't exactly get the role for my talent…"

And he told her the whole story. She gasped many times throughout the story, until it was finished.

"Neville…I…I don't know…what to…say! I don't understand! How could you!" she stammered, then simply ran out of the classroom balling her little eyes out.

What Neville had told her was so…insert any word that helps future foreshadowing here…that she had to leave. I would tell you what he had told her…but I think you all know what it was. Besides! I have to keep foreshadowing! Foreshadowing is the only thing that keeps fan fictions alive, and I must protect it! But first I must dance…dances

Suddenly, Hermione ran into the classroom to see Neville. He had a box of Kleenex on his lap and was using them vigorously!

"Neville! What happened?"

"Just go away!"

And she did. Then she felt the urge to speak.

"Wait? What was that about! I bet it was about Neville giving the envelopes to Dumbledore! And I know-"

"Oh, just go away little girl!"

"NEVER!"

"Go away or else I'll make Draco fall in love with you."

"He already is. Or, at least, that's what all the shippers said!"

"The shippers need to shut up!"

Suddenly, a group of shippers run in!

"Us? Never!"

"Shut up!"

"We will never let you defeat us!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

And they left, defeated.

"That was weird…" Hermione said to herself, then went back to being Pfannee!

Author's Note Foreshadowing…MUHAHAHA!


	11. FAST FORWARD

FAST FORWARD→→→→

Insanity is what keeps us alive. It flows in our veins, throughout our entire bodies, because our hearts continuously pump…pump…pump…

Yet, insanity can also be a very dangerous thing - which is why I'm going to fast forward through 6 months of it!

Yes, I am going to skip through 6 months of insanity, just because nothing really happens during these 6 months. Sure, Draco Malfoy blows up a few times, Luna finds a way to make butterbeer cap necklaces the latest fashion in all the magazines You know, like Sevenspleen, Fashion Witchcraft, Curse, Wizard, and Sports Illuscurated the school gets an internet connection, and Voldemort comes once or twice, killing Harry and all of his friends, only to find that they've been revived by Dumbledore and his magical powers.

Other than that, nothing really exciting happens.

So, here we go!

It is time for the dress rehearsal! P.S. If you are wondering how on earth these characters got to the dress rehearsal in one chapter, read the above paragraphs!

The entire cast huddled together in their first costumes and started chanting "Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh my!" over and over and over again getting louder and louder, each and every time, so loud, in fact, that they went a little bit deaf and blind and got older and older and how many times and times do you think I can say "and" in one sentence and one paragraph and story.

15 times.

Wow.

Anyways, they finally stopped, to the glee of Dumbledore! The cast got onto the stage, repeated the third paragraph above this one a few times, then got to their positions. Yes, there were many new pairings, and Ginny was still horrified at Neville's story, but we'll get into that later.

So, everybody was in place, and the show started with a bunch of flying monkeys bouncing about the stage, as it is in the Broadway production. You see, Fred, George, and Lee all wanted parts in the show, so Dumbledore decided to make them dancing monkeys, as there was a lack of those in the show. McGonagall magicked I don't know how to spell it! them into monkeys, which they enjoys so much, they stayed in character all the time, created a new candy that would turn kids into monkeys, and made money at a carnival! Yay!

After the monkeys danced their hearts out, the ensemble don't you just love that word…ensemble…ensemble…ENSEMBLE! came out and sang the first lines in the show. The ensemble was made up of a bunch of random students, who really had no idea what they were doing as this was only their fifth rehearsal and already their dress rehearsal, but hey - isn't that why we all love good old Professor Flitwick?

Anyhow, Luna came out and sang her incredibly high noted perfectly it's a fan fiction, people! and made Dumbledore cry because his glasses broke and that made him sad. Very sad.

The show went alright - until the second song at least! Nobody knew the harmonies, but that's ok, because the rest of the completely horrible dress rehearsal made everyone forget about the awful noises. I mean…beautiful music…sure…

Here's everything that went wrong:

The lights melted everyone's stage make-up.

Hermione and Milicent were playing with their hair to much to notice anything going on around them.

Ginny was too mad at Neville to kiss him, so instead she slapped him and ran off-stage.

Lavender broke her leg. Yes. Broke her leg.

Draco's Wizard coat blew up. Again.

Ron sounded like a dying penguin every time he had to BAAAA.

Harry didn't even sound like a lion, so Ron beat him off the stage and made Ryan Seacrest come AGAIN.

And much, much more! If you would like to order the full package of mistakes, including a complementary video, please call:

765-4321 - BLAST OFF!

Oooops. Um…never mind…

Anyway! Finally the show ended, with the domino effect occurring during their practice bows.

"Oh well, you know what they say," Dumbledore said to them, or, he said it to the nearby chair, as he couldn't see anything with his broken glasses. "Bad dress rehearsal, GREAT SHOW!"

You know what? Everyone takes Dumbledore way too seriously…you know why? They believed him and all went skipping back to bed - except for a few people…haha!

"Um…Dumbledore…?"

"Yes, Ms. Lovegood?"

"Sorry about your glasses…I'll try to not be sharp next time on the high D…"

"Thank you dear."

"Okay…" Luna said to him as she left slowly.

Hermione also stayed behind, and after seeing Neville giving Dumbledore more money, she decided to talk to Dumbledore.

"Excuse me sir?"

"Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Yes…well…what has Neville been giving - HEY!"

"What is it, Ms. Granger?"

"The writer-ess isn't here to stop me from asking you my question! Yay! Now I can ask whatever I want! Okay! Dumbledore - I have that question for you now! Dumbledore?"

She looked around for him then saw that he was lost. He fell into a pothole while trying to drive home. That just shows you kids, don't drive without your glasses.

But Hermione didn't know all this, so she just went back to her dorm, away from the constant squeals of a fan fiction writer. One thing lingered in her mind though…

'Wait…how were we so bad? I thought this was a fan fiction! The shows are supposed to be perfect!"

She shuddered and fell asleep.


	12. The Show

The Show!

The entire student body went into the Great Hall. Instead of having four tables lines up, the Great Hall had now become an audience area with hundreds of seats that went up and down in normal chairs and in box seats.

In front of all these seats was the stage, and behind the stage were the actors. There were a ton of them, all hugging each other nervously and simply waiting for the show to start. They all remembered what Dumbledore had said - "Bad dress rehearsal, great show!"

They knew this was true. I mean, Dumbledore said it, how could it not be true?

They said the "Lions and Tigers and Bears" song again that night, to help them get excited and not nervous! for the show, then they all got to their positions backstage. At eight o'clock the show started, and Dumbledore went out into the audience to introduce the show!

"Welcome students, teachers, and parents alike," He called out to the audience brightly, "To our little show! The show is called "Wicked" and it is about the Wicked Witch of The West from The Wizard of Oz and her true story. We chose this story because it deals with witchcraft and wizardry, and also because it deals with many moral issues, including happiness, sadness, evil, friendship," he continued to list words for five more minutes, "freedom, beauty, truth, and above all things: love. A love that will last-"

"Wrong musical, Dumbledork!" a random student called. By random student I mean Goyle…

"Oh. Sorry," Dumbledore said quietly, then continued: "Anyway, this story is about Elphaba, the Wicked Witch going to a school in Oz called Shiz University, and soon after arriving she…"

He went on to tell the ENTIRE synopsis - minus the ending of course!

"But I won't tell you the ending."

"Why?" Crabbe called out.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just because."

"BECAUSE WHY?"

"OH JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

The writer had appeared.

"Sorry."

"Good!" the writer said a bit too brightly. "Continue please, Headmaster."

"O…kay…" Dumbledore said slowly, and continued: "So, welcome to the show. I hope you all enjoy it." He left the stage and went to sit down in his special seat with Professor McGonagall. Oooooh!

The audience clapped, happy that Dumbledore's speech was over, and put their matches and knives away so they could enjoy the show without having the urge to make Dumbledore be quiet…make him be quiet…

The show finally started! The first number went well, minus one or two pieces of glass being broken by Luna's high voice. The second number was still ruined by the awful harmonies also, but no one seemed to notice. At least, no one on stage noticed - they were too busy thinking about what Dumbledore said.

Ginny's big solo, Wizard and I, was amazing! The entire audience was crying at the end, because of her completely beautiful voice, and that last note - WOW! Then her number stopped, and the torture began.

What Is This Feeling was awful! Everyone "loathed it!" Get it…loathed it…haha…loathing…get it? I guess not. Anyway, once again, people were too busy thinking about what Dumbledore said to remember the harmonies, and the dance was forgotten completely. What the heck was everyone doing on stage? Nobody knew. Oh well - the thrill of live theatre!

Something Bad was interrupted by Harry thinking it was his time to shine with his lion roar, which he had finally perfected. It was even as good as Ron's! So, Harry ran out from backstage and growled at Ron, who screamed during one of his "Baaaaa's!" and ran off-stage, leaving Ginny to improvise the rest of the song, as the invisible AKA non-existent band continued playing.

Then, once again, the dance for Dancing Through Life was completely unknown. Well - not completely unknown, as one person in the cast knew it. That one person was…

NEVILLE! He was doing pirouettes, negleshées, points, the polka, the twist and every other dance in the blocking, while everyone behind him tried to copy him. There was one problem though: Neville's dancing may have been beautifully done, but he couldn't sing well at the same time. Oh well - that's life!

Popular would have been hilarious if Hermione and Milicent were doing anything. Instead of making over Ginny, which was their job, they took the mirror and started putting make-up on themselves! Plus, to make matters worse, Luna kept getting all of the lines mixed up, and she couldn't get the pink flower in Ginny's hair! Talk about a bit mess!

I'm Not That Girl was once again beautiful, as all of Ginny's solos were! Even the Ron was balling, telling everyone backstage: "That's my little sister!" There was something missing though…Angelina's dancing! Angelina was supposed to have a dance solo during this song, where was she? Well, you see, Angelina died whilst defeating the Dark Lord Voldemort, then Fred left to grieve her death leaving George to do the ballet. Then Angelina came back to life at the very end of the song, and the angst ended. Then the song ended, and more…fun…began!

One Short Day was…confusing. It started off well, but when the Wizomania dancers Fred, George, and Lee! came on and started spinning like tops and bumping into each other - let's just say it didn't go well and leave the details to your imagination…

Sentimental Man blowed…up. I mean…Draco blew up…never mind…

Then finally, it was time for - DUN!DUN!DUN! - the SONG! Yes, the SONG: DEFYING GRAVITY!

It started off well, and went well until Ginny was raised up to the sky on the giant broomstick holder, and then it fell…right at the end…leaving Ginny to fall to the ground screaming:

"OH-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And that, my friends, was the end of Act ONE!


	13. Intermission

Intermission!

The curtain closed, and the entire audience leaped to their feet, not knowing at all what had happened to Ginny, just happy that they could now all go to the bathroom and eat a bunch of snacks for twenty minutes!

Behind the curtain however, the drama started!

"Oh my lord…"

"What happened to her…"

"Is she…alive…?"

"Will she be alright…?"

These were things heard by the entire cast. You see, when Ginny was falling down, she landed right on top of Luna, who was now laying under the big tower that lifted Ginny up. You see, while Ginny was falling, she used the broom in her hand to fly away, leaving only Luna to be crushed and hurt. Neville didn't know this though...he thought that it was Ginny who was hurt.

"Oh my lord! Ginny!" he called, running over to crushed body. He used his super strength and Aladdin magic carpet it was mostly the carpet to lift the tower off of Ginny…or Luna…which ever one it was!

He pulled Luna into his arms and kissed her on the lips whilst everyone watched. Suddenly, Luna woke up, and started talking - lips still under Neville's.

"Um…Neville…?"

"Don't speak now darling, it will be fine!"

"Neville…why are you kissing me?"

"Because, I love you Lun-what?"

He dropped her onto the ground with a boom and she got up quickly, arms on her waist.

"Excuse me? May I ask why you were kissing me?" she yelled loudly.

"I…I thought…" Neville started backing away, then heard laughter coming from a green girl. He looked at her and crossed his arms…erm…crossly…

"And may I ask why you find this so funny?"

"I - hehe - dunno…" Ginny laughed.

And before Neville could defend himself the red and blue police sirens started going off, telling everybody to get into their Act 2 positions. Dumbledore called the audience back to their seats, and the show started up once again!


	14. The End!

Act Two!

Act Two started with a bang…of breaking glass. Luna could certainly hit the high notes in Thank Goodness, but they were simply too high for the Great Hall and the people in it to take.

Then it was soon time for Wicked Witch of The East - AKA the forgotten song. It is actually just a bunch of Nessarose's musings to the tune of her mini-duet with Boq in Dancing Through Life, but we won't get into that. Lavender sang the song very nicely, except she couldn't stand up! You see, the shoes weren't real, they were simply props, and because Lavender had broken her leg during the dress rehearsal, everything did not go well. Still, it was heart-breaking, as it was supposed to be, and then everything went into Wonderful!

There was one miracle during this song - Draco didn't blow up once! There was some steam coming out of his ears at a few points throughout the song, but we won't get into that today. Otherwise, the song finally went well!

Luna's I'm Not That Girl Reprise was good, because the song isn't too high! Everyone was crying for the right reasons during this song, which was a HUGE improvement from the earlier songs! Luna left the stage in character - meaning she left the stage sad. Not because she had just lost Neville to Ginny, but because she loved the sounds of breaking glass and was hoping she could catch a Snorkack with the sound of the glass! They're attracted to breaking glass you know!

Then it was finally time for As Long As You're Mine! Neville and Ginny looked at each other nervously before the song, then Ginny began to sing. There was one problem - they kept looking mad at each other! They would glare and mutter mean things under their breath! Finally, the song ended. The two knew they had to kiss, so they did, and the students went crazy! They all stood up and started cheering "Again! Again! Kiss her again!" So…they did the only thing there was to do - they kissed again! The audience kept cheering, so they kept kissing until the rating of this story almost reached PG-13, but they finally stopped after Ginny bit Neville's lip. Ouch.

All of the students sat down, disappointed. As Neville and Ginny left the stage however, they knew that the other kids would never let them forget that - large amount of kisses.

Then, after more scenes, No Good Deed started playing! Ginny ran onto the stage screaming "Fiyero!" and grabbed the book from the table center stage. She did the song amazingly well, but there was one problem. For some reason she had a wand in her pocket, and the spell she was saying became real! Backstage, Neville started to actually become the Scarecrow! I mean…no he didn't…there aren't any spoilers in this story…ahem. Anyway, yes, the spell turned Neville very randomly and not accordingly to the plot into a scarecrow.

But, it worked with the plot…for no reason…none at all…ahem. Excuse me while I state obvious…"OBVIOUS!"

Okay…I'm done spoiling the entire musical now.

So! It was time for March of The Witch Hunters! This was the song where the Lion comes out and Roars loudly, so it was Harry's real time to shine! He was about to go onto the stage when a man in a striped shirt and an American Idol microphone appeared and grabbed him by the collar while motioning for Ron, in full costume, to run out a do the big ROAR!

So, he did! Ron ran onto the stage and let out his humungous call of the wild! It was so loud the entire non-existent band even stopped playing their music, and the entire Great Hall went silent for a minute.

Another minute passes.

Then another one.

Then about two more.

Ron put out his hands as if to say: "Come on!" The entire audience then stood up and started cheering like they've never cheered before! Ron took a huge bow to all of the different sides of the audience, and Ryan Seacrest ran onto the stage to give Ron ANOTHER golden American Idol ticket. Then Harry came out, took the ticket, pushed Ron off-stage, and ran away cackling even more and louder and better than the Wicked Witch of The West! Then the people in the audience looked at each other and sat down, bored.

Then, it was soon time for a great song about friendship: For Good. Luna and Ginny sang it, hugged then left the stage whilst the audience cried their little eyes out! The last song played, Ginny and Neville ran through the Time Dragon Clock, and that was it!

The audience stood up and clapped like mad! The actors came out for their final bows, and the curtain closed. All of the actors then went backstage to mingle.

They went to a snack area that was set up behind the stage, and started talking about the show. Most people were just complementing each other, but then someone asked the question:

"Wait? Why wasn't the show perfect? Aren't shows in fan fictions always perfect?" It was Ron.

"I guess not," Hermione answered.

They all looked at each other and started asking very random questions. Neville wasn't talking though - he and Ginny were simply staring at each other, embarrassed about what had happened on stage. While looking at Neville, Hermione thought of something.

"Hey…Neville?" She asked.

"Yeah?" Neville answered.

"You know all of those strange envelopes you keep giving to Dumbledore?" everyone heard her and looked at Neville, confused.

"What envelopes?" Seamus and Parvati asked at the exact same time.

"Okay, I guess the cat is out of the bag," Neville said, then continued, "Well, you see, you know the role I play, Fiyero? Well…I'm secretly the real Tin Man. I'm Fiyero. And, the Gods of Oz came to Dumbledore, and told him that if I didn't get the role in the show, they would…"

"What? They would WHAT?" everyone asked in unison.

"They would eat me and all of you alive!" Neville replied. "Also, I'd have to give Dumbledore little notes from the Gods of Oz, with wacky little round chips in them, so that they would eat all of us. That explains the envelopes."

Everyone stared at Neville, horrified. But, nobody really said anything to him. Ginny, however, looked at him with a sneaky smile on her face.

"So, you mean…you weren't paying Dumbledore to give you the role?" Hermione badgered him.

Everyone looked to Neville, waiting for an answer. He burst out laughing and said:

"YEAH! I SO TOTALLY WAS!"

Everyone around him suddenly began to laugh their heads off, even Hermione, and they all clinked their drinks to the fact that the show was finally finished and they wouldn't have to keep on their horrible costumes and make-up anymore.

So, that's the end. Nobody cared that Neville was evil and was paying Dumbledore for the role, they were just happy it was all over.

"No! It can't be! It's never over!" the author screamed down to all of them from her home in the sky.

"Sure it can be," Hermione yelled up.

"Never! The story must continue! There must be some more loose ends to complete! Please, just-"

"Oh, shut up!" Hermione yelled up.

"Please, just-"

"Shut up!" she yelled again.

"Just a few-"

And the entire cast joined together for this final line of words:

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

The end.


	15. Disclaimer

DISCLAIMER!

Every good story needs a better disclaimer, to say what they own and what others own, so I will now show you my own! I hope you enjoy it!

In the midst of a world with fiction and fun

A writer came out to shine in the sun.

She wrote a full story

With lots of odd people and tales

From many different lands

That belong to even more people!

So, this writer borrowed characters

From many different places,

They were from all these lands

Which I will here list:

First there was the land of Hogwarts,

Which included magic and books about the school's history,

Which came from a book called Harry Potter

From a brilliant woman called JK Rowling!

Then there was the story of a poor girl with green skin,

Whose only wish is just to fit in,

From a musical called Wicked written by Stephen Shwartz.

There were other things too

Mentioned merely in passing

From Pippin, Wizard of Oz and Les Misérables.

All of these things don't belong to me,

But a couple things do, including the story!

So thank you for reading this

If only from boredom

Because I love to write,

Now it's time for more dancing!


End file.
